Thursday, June 30, 2011

Is It Me Or Is It Utah?

I was at summer program today, talking to one of the girls who is over 30 and just married in the last 3 years.  And of course we were talking about being single and over 30.  I was telling her that I fell like the Church had just left the over 30 singles out in the middle of nowhere. If I am not good enough to be married in a timely manner like everyone else then I am not worth the time. There isn't any place for me to go. I am too old for the young single adult wards and nothing applies to me in the family wards. Where do I go?  What do I do?

So...I just don't anymore...

What do you do when you do meet someone and your family or friends says "Well what's wrong with him?" I start thinking 'Do they think the same thing about me too?'

I can't seem to stress enough that this question should never ever come out of anyone's mouth.

I am hard enough on myself, wondering what is wrong with me, why am I not good enough  for someone to love?

Why is it when I am trying my hardest to live and do the right thing, here I sit still alone and unwanted?

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

I Am So Grateful...

I have been thinking a lot about my friends in Minot North Dakota and the what they are going through. I have been trying to see pictures of the flood to get an idea of how bad it is. But when I hear that some of my friends have had to evacuate, I know it is bad.  One of the houses I lived in, faced the river, which was right across the street from us.  So I am pretty sure it is under water or at least partially under water.  It is sad because people are losing everything.  They have had some warning, but it was much shorter than anticipated.

I have been truly blessed in my life to have never experienced these things. I only have my Heavenly Father to thank.  Now don't get me wrong, I have experienced plenty of trials in my life, and still continue to.

Summer is going by fast... Its hard to believe the 4th of July is in 1 and 1/2 weeks...  Wow where has June gone?  I am busy with Summer Program, coming up with ideas to do with my kids in the community.  Swimming and splash pad is beginning to top the list.  One is free and the other isn't LOL!!  The sun is definitely free!

Tomorrow is payday.  My first BIG pay check for playing in the sun, something just doesn't seem right about this picture, but I am not complaining.  I am grateful to have a job I love doing and that gives me the satisfaction of making a difference in someone else's life.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

How Did I Get Here?

Whoa!!  Can it possibly be June already??  Where the heck did the time go?  The family is gone.  They left for St. Louis for the last month and then on to the desert.  I miss them terribly!!  The house is so quiet, sometimes I am not sure what to do.  My sister, (I have now dropped the in-law,) and I have become very close. We had so much fun together.  We did all kinds of fun things like go out to the piano bar in downtown SLC.  It is definitely really quiet. 

We have also moved.  Started looking at houses in February and  spent three months looking for the right house.  The house we finally chose, is small, or so it seemed before the furniture got in there. But it isn't as bad as I first thought. We looked at it about 4 or 5 times, so there was something there.

School quickly came to an end and with the possibility of not having a job in the fall again.  I am really getting sick of it.

So now here we are and it is summer.  I am back at summer camp as the camp lead.  I love it!!  Plus it is good money!!

Today I went hunting and found pink topaz!!  SO fun!!!